Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Cancer is Making Me Selfish...

This morning I am reminded that life isn't just about me and what I'm going through. As I sit here typing this, my husband, Woody, is at his dear friend's house watching the Army pack his belongings to take them to storage. Jason's mother is there as well and I know this is harder than anything I've been going through or will go through.

You see, Jason was killed in action last April in Iraq. He was on Woody's team and very much a little brother to him. We all loved Jason. He had an infectious smile and laugh that made him irresistible! His mother is watching his belongings get packed today and will close on his house this week as well. I know it is just a house, but it is more than that to her and to his father. It was a big part of their son's life, and although it will bring some amount of closer for them it is also hard extremely hard to do. Jason's best friend, Jeff, made sure the tree his parents bought for him for his front yard made its way to their home in Oklahoma. It was a gesture that they will cherish each time they look out into their yard and see it growing.

Woody is hurting too. You can't serve your country with someone and not have a bond that others can't even fathom...it can't even be compared to that of a husband and wife. This week also marked the 5th anniversary of the death of another close friend, Kelly, who was also killed while serving his country in Iraq. Woody and Kelly were privates together and had a mutual respect and brotherly love for one another. This spring marks the first anniversay of Jason's death and then in October we will mark the 3rd anniversary of the death another friend, Scott. Scott gave his life while serving in Afghanistan. Woody and Scott started their Special Forces careers together and were very close. All three men left children behind and many who loved them dearly.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I write this morning. I'm reminded that although I might grow tired of the doctor's, scars and other marks on my body, I still have life. I must learn to put all of my disease aside and be supportive of those that I love, especially my husband. My fight is bringing more time on earth with my loved ones, and I must learn to remember that and turn the focus away from myself and toward those who need me more.

Woody, I love you so much.

Love you all,


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