Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Radiation Regimen Begins...

Last Wednesday I had my CT scan and got "marked" for radiation. I was very nervous because I am claustrophobic and wasn't sure how deep into the machine I would have to go! Thankfully, not that far so I managed to make it through without too much trauma.

I must admit that the reason I haven't updated my blog since then is because I did experience a "bad day", anxiety, whatever you want to call it. I'm not sure why I had those feelings. I think maybe it just hit me that I am about to be a "cancer patient" again. You may think that sounds odd, but I have had a little time since finishing chemo and kinda got used to not working around doctor's appointments. Yes, it was only a couple of weeks, but still it felt normal for a bit. Now, I'm back at starting on Tuesday...back at being a cancer patient.

Being a cancer patient has had its pros and cons! You may be thinking what are the pros. Well, I believe that I am ultimately supposed to use my experience to bring awareness to early detection. It also makes you think about life and what is really important. For me that is family and friends. Yes, I want to be successful in my business, but that is empty without those you love beside you. On the lighter side, I have gotten to eat a lot of chocolate without too much remorse!!

The cons are a bit more obvious. Although I really didn't get sick or feel too bad from the chemo, I do have the obvious side effect that screams "I have cancer" hair! I must admit that it really doesn't bother that much. The bright side is, according to my big brother, we all get to find out what color my hair really is!! Of course, if I don't like that color then I have a big decision to make...blonde or red!!! The cons coming up with radiation appear to be skin discomfort as well as potential tiredness/fatigue. It bothers me that I might have to spend a few weeks not living life the way I want to, but we will have to see. I did react well to chemo, so maybe radiation will be as good to me.

The worse con with being a cancer patient is having people treat you that way. It gets frustrating sometimes when well meaning people ask those closest to me how I am doing rather than calling or emailing me themselves. If I don't feel like talking I can let it roll to voicemail, call back, or email. The other thing it does is make those getting asked the questions feel as though they don't matter. By only asking how I am doing makes them feel as though they don't exist and that really hurts me for them. When you have family and friends sacrifice so much to be your rock and to treat you as normal as possible, it seems their struggle is forgotten. Trust me, they are struggling as much or more than me! So, remember to ask caregivers how they are and if you can do something for them...they need a break too!

Let's all look forward to a wonderful 2009! I plan to work really hard in my Real Estate career and enjoy my husband, family and friends more than ever. I also plan to work to bring awarness to early detection as well as raise money through the Making Strides for Breast Cancer walk in October. Last year we got a very late start, so this year I really plan to kick things up a notch! If you are an Exit agent in the Nashville/Clarksville area, then get prepared to walk 5 miles...I will be in touch!

Have a great rest of the weekend.

Love you all,


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